Please, don't remove my signature.
Subtitle by Dandysubs at subscene.com and cryinoutloud at opensubtitles.org
One turtle, one turtle, crawl, crawl, crawl, crawl.
Two fish, two fish, swim, swim, swim.
Three big lobsters, swim, swim, swim.
Sheng you know that lobsters don't swim, lobsters jump.
Three big lobsters, jump, jump, jump.
- And four little, what's next? - Four little...
Girls!
I'm going in now Sheng.
You play on the shore and don't get too near the water. Okay?
And remember if you fall in, the Big Lobster will grab you.
If the Big Lobster gets me, you know what I'll do daddy?
I will gobble him up.
If you eat the Big Lobster, then the demon will eat you.
There are no demons here daddy.
Oh is that so?
Look there. What's that in the water?
Aha! It's me!
Hey, see I'm fine. I was joking, look!
Go, Daddy! This is great!
Hooray daddy!
This is great daddy!
This is great! You do it for me daddy!
Daddy...
Sheng!
What are you doing here? Where's your Dad?
I'm sorry.
Your Holiness, thank you kindley.
Here's a little money for you, and two ancient salted fish also.
- Please accept these gifts. - No!
As a Taoist priest, my sole purpose is to help the world.
I'm afraid I can not accept such precious things.
Everyone... now that the demon has been captured...
it's up to you to decide, what you want to do with it.
Let's kill it!
But I thought it was dead?
Will kill it again!
Kill 'em!
Revenge!
I want revenge, now!
You are all mistaken. He is not the killer.
He is a simple stingray. He's not evil.
He is a gentle, kind-hearted and cheerful fish of good character. He is merely a bit too big.
Who are you?
Forgive me mayor, I am the unshaven Buddhist monk, Chen Xuan Zang.
I sir, am a demon-hunter.
We know about stingrays, we've never seen one so big.
The Priest says, that this one is possessed by a demon.
Mayor, look.
That is really not the demon you're looking for.
A good father, was savagely killed.
How his innocent family suffers... and you dare to...
stand there and talk... nonsense.
You scumbag!
- Scumbag! - Scumbag! - Scumbag!
Everyone, listen to me.
The real demon has not yet appeared.
Shut up!
You ever lost a husband?
I don't have a husband.
Have you ever lost a husband?
Madam, believe me, I've never really had a...
Kill him!
Listen everyone, the stingray's innocent!
The demon is still in the river! Everyone must stay out of the water!
That's pure nonsense!
He's clearly working with that demon.
String him up! Let's burn him!
- Burn him! - Burn him! - Burn him!
Everyone, listen up.
I've already killed the demon, he is dead.
It is perfectly safe here, I assure you.
You can go in the water, with nothing to fear.
Go in.
I said, go in!
Well it's fine now. We're really safe.
Look, it is safe.
It's really safe now.
We're safe now.
Run!
Danger! Get out, now!
Danger! Get out now!
Danger!
Run, run, run!
Get out alive!
The demon... run, everybody run!
The demon.
Why did that happen?
It's okay. Once you're on shore, it's fine.
Yeah, he's right. Just stay calm.
We're all safe here. We're on shore.
Sheng, Sheng!
Give us back our money!
Give it back now!
Give it back!
You tricked us!
What are you talking about? Didn't I catch a demon for you?
- Who knew there were two? - What do we do now?
Just stay calm.
We're so high up here, we're gonna be fine.
How high are we?
Very high up, just look!
Everyone stay down, and you'll be fine!
Don't move!
Don't run! Stay down!
Just play dead!
Don't run! Just play dead!
Hey Sheng!
Sheng!
Mom!
Sheng!
Sheng dear, neal down. Don't move.
Mom!
Neal down, don't come.
Just neal down!
Mom! Mom!
Little girl... stop moving!
Don't go over there!
Sheng no!
Sheng!
Sheng no! Sheng!
Sheng!
No!
- Knife! - Pull harder!
A knife!
Hurry!
Quick, get her the knife!
No!
- Oh Sheng! - Hang on!
No, not again!
Sheng no!
Sheng!
Don't worry honey, everything will be okay!
Mrs. Gen!
Give me back my daughter!
Give, me, back my daughter.
My baby!
I lost my baby!
My baby!
Oh please help me! My baby!
My baby!
- Hey, this robe was expensive. - Sorry, please help.
Hey!
Hey, you're gonna pay me for that!
Okay, that really, really hurts. Let go, let go, let go!
Oww oww oww oww oww oww!
Oww!
Oh no!
Oh!
Yeah!
My baby's back!
You're very welcome ma'am.
Your Holiness. Your Holiness.
Come on, your skills are greater than mine, please come help.
No I won't. Let go of me now!
Listen, I can't defeat the demon in the water,
but if you and I jump down and bounce him onto shore
then we can do something.
Let go of me or I'll kill you!
I swear! I will beat you to death right here!
I'm cold-blooded!
Great. Thanks.
Let me!
- Let me! - Let me!
Let me!
- Let me! - Let me! - Let me!
Let me!
Kill it!
Make way! Make way! Look, this way!
Calm down!
Calm down everyone now listen up. Let me handle this.
I'm a professional demon-hunter please.
'300 Nursery Rhymes'
* My child, my child... why are you so bad? *
* Bullying, cheating... how can you do that? *
* Learn to be good... learn to be loving. *
* Love is in your heart... * * filling your life with warmth. *
* Be good, be good and come home soon. *
* My arms are always ready to embrace you. *
* My child, repent with a sincere heart. *
* You'll always be my dearest child. *
* Be good, be good and come home soon. *
* Study hard for a better future. *
* Turn back and become a filial child again. *
* We were all born pure, like children. *
You're a demon-hunter too?
Based on what?
On the handbook.
What handbook is that?
300 Nursery Rhymes?
It brings out the goodness that's found within all demons.
We are all born naturally good.
And also I add my own unique style so...
Says who?
My Master.
- You believe him? - You might not believe him, but I certainly do.
Mmhm.
Actually, I must admit, that I'm also a fan of childish pranks.
Look, she's the real demon-hunter everyone!
Hello, everyone! Oh, you're welcome!
Thank you!
Just let me know if you have any trouble again. Okay? Thank you.
All donations are welcome! All donations are welcome!
Master.
Xuan Zang.
Master, I have failed again.
Yes I know son.
The Water Demon you encountered today in that village, was once a kind man.
One day he was rescuing a child by the river.
The villagers mistook him for a kidnapper.
So they caught him, and killed him.
They tossed him into the river, feeding him to the fish.
And he was filled with such hatred,
that his spirit transformed into the Water Demon.
He returned to seek revenge on the villagers.
Master, may I ask you something?
Is the 300 Nursery Rhymes really powerful?
Why do you ask me this?
All I wanna do Master, is destroy the demons.
It's what the other demon-hunters do.
Remember, killing is not the best way my son.
You must never forget our principles, and beliefs.
A good man turns into a demon,
when his heart is overcome by evil.
We must remove the evil from within him...
and keep only the goodness.
The 300 Nursery Rhymes, wakes up our inner goodness.
It conquers the evil in our hearts. Right?
What's the matter, are you doubting our beliefs?
No.
I'm just doubting my own powers, Master.
But you did your best.
You saved a baby today, didn't you?
I could have saved even more people...
but I wasn't able to.
Master, you didn't see that little girl. She was so tiny and so helpless.
She couldn't have been more than four or five years old.
I tried so hard, but I just couldn't save her and them.
Their dead because of me.
So many dead.
Master, I'm so useless.
Maybe you chose the wrong disciple?
I didn't choose the wrong disciple. Absolutely not.
You're just missing that little 'something'.
What is that little 'something'?
It's just that little, 'something'.
When you attain enlightenment son, you will know what I mean.
And by that time,
you will fully understand the boundless powers of the Nursery Rhymes.
Go on, go on.
Master!
Yes, I know, keep at it.
Master!
Just go!
How come no one's here?
This is perfect! We can finally be alone, just you and me.
Handsome. Don't worry.
Let's not hold back anymore.
You need to calm down Blossom.
I can't. I love looking at your gorgeous face.
Stop looking.
You're terrible.
Hello! Hello! Welcome lovebirds! Wellcome to the Gao Family Inn!
This way, please!
I must say, you came just in time.
It may be empty now, but soon it will be crowded.
Just you wait.
Follow me please, and allow me to present the signature dish, at the Gao Family Inn.
Come take a look.
Prepare to be amazed!
This is our world famous roast pig, freshly made.
Crispy skin, juicy meat.
How do they make such tasty roast pig?
You are right. Take a look around and even the decor, is unique.
Like that. See that gorgeous candelabrum, over there.
Yes but, it's not as gorgeous as you are, of course.
Must you keep going on, and on about my looks?
Are you really that shallow?
Tell me, what girl wouldn't want such a handsome boy?
Come on, don't be angry.
Come on, let me look at you. Please Maple. Please, please!
Stop, that's enough!
Fine, look at me, until you get sick of me!
So sick, that you die.
How come you haven't died yet?
So tell me folks, What did you think of our famous roast pig?
It's delicious! Did you make it?
Not me. The owner KL Hog is our chef, and the "Master of Meat".
Colorful, yummy and tasty, perfect.
So sir, how did you make the roasted pork so delicious?
She asked you a question.
You know it is very rude of you not to answer.
Come, let's go!
Please sir, come join us.
I would be so honored, I have so much to say.
Come on, let's get out of here right now Blossom!
Or I swear, you won't get to see my gorgeous face ever again.
Oh, really Maple? Thank goodness for that!
Hey, I was just joking with you honey.
Why would I, want you to be upset with me, huh?
Just turn away would you. I'm already mad at you.
You're mean.
Hey sir, what is it, do you find me unattractive or something?
Well in that case, why don't you talk to me?
Oh, please say something to me.
I beg you sir, please just talk to me.
Hello sir, welcome, welcome to the Gao Family Inn! Come.
One look at you, and I can tell that you're a man of good taste.
All our guest tell us, how much they love our food, and décor.
Our stylish candelabrum, always a huge hit. Look there everywhere.
Doesn't this place just ooze romance?
From the number of repeat customers we have here,
you can tell how good our food is.
Come, come!
This here is our signature dish, the famous Gao family and roasted pigs.
It's crispy on the outside, yet tender on the inside.
It simply melts in your mouth. I guarantee you'll be coming back for more, many, many times.
As you see, we're very busy tonight.
Please wait here, and I'll find a table for you.
Ah, sir.
I have a table for you. This way please.
I am a demon-hunter.
Reveal yourself.
Ah, what are you talking about?
Oh really?! Go ahead!
You're asking for it.
Don't blame me!
Miss, can I help?
- Yes! - How?
- Get lost. - Right.
Please no. No more, I'm going to explode!
Please be gentle with me. Thanks you.
Okay, all right, enough of this!
Just come out!
Come on!
Come over here and help me!
Okay, I'm here to help, what can I do?
I've got the demon's essence trapped in his throat. Now you suck it out of there fast.
Yes.
How do I do that?
With your mouth!
Hang on, you mean you want me to use my mouth to suck out the demon?
How else, huh?
Right!
Is there another method?
Hurry up, I can't hold on much longer!
How about I hold him down and you suck it out instead? What do you think, huh?
You idiot! Stop fooling around and it just do it!
Hurry up, or we're gonna die!
Fine, I can do this!
I can do this!
I'm sorry, I can't.
Run!
He won't come after us, right?
No.
He's injured, too.
Are you all right?
I'm fine... it's nothing.
Give me a hand.
Demon hunters don't care about formalities.
Push this pressure point for me.
That Pig Demon was very powerful.
Of course.
We could receive a huge bounty for killing him.
Isn't that the reason that you're here?
I'm not doing this for money.
I don't care about money, I'm doing this to help people.
With skills like yours?
You have a death wish?
I'm not worried about that.
That weapon of yours, is really amazing.
It's my demon-hunting heirloom, the Infinite Flying Ring.
Infinite Flying Ring.
- You're wounded. - What?
You're nose bleeding.
Internal injury.
I'm Chen Xuan Zang. Tell me miss, what is your name?
It's Duan.
Well, Miss Duan... thank you very much for saving my life.
You're thanking me?
Miss Duan, Miss Duan.
When a girl closes her eyes, it means that she wants you to kiss her.
Oh come on...
stop pretending.
Xuan Zang... did you have fun?
What do you mean?
You were flirting.
What are you talking about? You know that's impossible Master.
How do you feel about romantic love son?
That's just lesser love, it's got absolutely nothing to do with me.
I'm on a quest for a greater love Master.
Wanna bite?
I don't.
Master, this is not good.
It goes against our beliefs.
You see son, eating the goose, is just a physical act.
Inside you may want something, but you always say otherwise.
And that is the little 'something'.
How dare you eat my goose leg! Have you paid?!
I can't.
You can't?!
Stop right there, baldy!
Stop running and come back here!
You have to pay for that goose leg! Get back here!
Master... so you knew about the Pig Demon all along.
The man... went buy the name, of KL Hog.
He was as ugly as a boar, but very affectionate.
He loved his wife dearly, but she loathed him for his ugliness.
And she cheated on him with a handsome man.
They murdered him with a nine-pronged rake.
And when his love turned to hatred, he became a demon.
Swearing to kill all women who lusted after handsome men.
That is a very tragic story Master.
Listen, I'm not capable of defeating such a strong demon.
Maybe you should take over.
Well, sure... but I'm quite busy these days.
Come to think of it, there is a way for you to defeat such a powerful demon.
You must seek out the strongest King among kings, and ask him to teach you.
Learn the secrets of conquering demons.
Who is he?
The Monkey King, he's been imprisoned for 500 years.
Monkey King?
Master he's just a legend, no one has ever actually seen him.
Well he's easy to find.
At the foot of Five Fingers Mountain, look for an old temple,
and there you can find a statue of Buddha.
13,000 feet high, and 2,500 feet wide.
And the Monkey King is there!
Really? It's that easy?
You'll have to be blind as a bat, to miss something that's 13,000 by 2,500 feet.
There's no time like the present. Get going.
Also...
that Monkey King is notoriously tricky, evil and full of hatred.
You have to be careful around him. You hear me?
How do I convince him to help me?
Use your wisdom... and this!
'300 Nursery Rhymes'
Bring them here!
We've come here from the West, to hunt demons!
All demon-hunters are enemies of our.
We kill demons and demon-hunters too!
And no matter how strong you think you are, you are dead, if you dare to cross our path.
Are you a demon-hunter?
I'm not a demon-hunter.
And yet you're out so late in the forest, where the demon dwells.
How can you still deny it?
You, you a demon-hunter?
Me?
Wait!
This man is my husband. We just had a terrible fight.
And I ran out and, an he came to get me.
You got it wrong, really!
Look at him, he's just a music teacher.
Now, show her.
Show her your song book.
Hurry!
You see?!
Fine. You have to prove that you're a couple.
Do it right here, right now.
What are you doing? Why are you treating us this way?
Go on! Do it!
Do it?
Even though we're a couple, we couldn't possibly do it out here in front of all of you!
I'd rather die than do that!
Would you rather die! You think I want this!
- What? - Oww!
You!
Don't hit her!
Don't hit her! I'll do it!
I'll do it!
Look at me.
You can do it.
You've really gone too far!
Leave him alone! No, oh!
You two, hurry up or you're next!
You people are animals!
You slaughter the innocent!
- You are animals! - Yes, you are animals!
Animal, come on!
- You're worse than animals! - Come on!
- Thief! - I'll help you!
Hurry!
All right, game's over everyone, it's over now.
You're in this together?
Okay, game's over.
Oh man, it stinks.
Now where's our money?
Did it go well?
Go well?!
You've ruined it! Look at how you sprayed the blood!
You're still spraying! You're still spraying!
I'm sorry, it's broken. Mechanical failure.
You are all useless!
Please don't be angry Boss!
What? Boss?
What is going on here?!
Well I had no choice.
I mean, I'm already yours.
What are you talking about?
Have you forgotten?
- You kissed me and felt me up that day. - What? He kissed you...
- Shut up! - What? Sorry.
If listen... I'm sorry...
if I have offended you in any way lady warrior.
I am nothing but a simple, common demon-hunter.
And I have my dream.
I'm devoted to my quest for the Greater Love.
I do not seek Lesser Love it isn't for me.
But no matter what I say, you won't get it.
I'm a demon-hunter too. I can understand.
That's good.
But my wish is...
to find the man of my dreams...
and start a family with him, and have a beautiful home...
and live a simple life together.
And that man is you!
You are crazy.
Well Boss, what shall we do?
Take him away!
Let me go!
I need to go pee.
Come on Boss.
He goes around with a Nursery Rhyme book and preaches about 'Greater Love' and 'Lesser Love'.
Clearly, he's an evil guy,
who goes around raping women and abducting children.
This is craziness!
You don't even want a sophisticated guy like me.
And seeing you fall for him, it breaks my heart!
Boss it really does!
Which one is your heart?
These two, my nipples!
You've made your feelings so obvious to him.
This guy doesn't appreciate you.
He is so rude.
It's not just rude, it's downright inhumane!
What do you think, San?
Well I feel that...
Can you take that thing off first please?!
It's broken. I can't get it off. Can you help please.
- No! - No! - No!
Okay, so you know when I was killed just now...
he seemed to show empathy.
But when so much blood squirted out of my head...
it was so obviously fake, and he didn't suspect anything.
That shows his extremely low level of intelligence.
Frankly speaking, he's an idiot.
Okay San, so who's dumber, you or him?
He is...
definitely, yeah.
Right?
Little sister...
do you think it was rude of him to refuse my advances?
Yes, it was rude.
But this also shows that he has positive qualities.
He knows what kind of woman he wants. And he will remain faithful to her.
You understand me so well, unlike those stupid men!
He may seem weak and vulnerable on the outside, but if you like him, and you wanna be with him...
I'll support you all the way.
You're wrong... he's actually braver than any of us.
Although he looks like a nobody...
he dares to fight the demons, armed with nothing but his Nursery Rhyme book.
Not even for fame or fortune!
Now that's what I call a true man of courage.
Oh... I get it, now I understand, oh I get it.
The guy doesn't like me.
That's not true. I'm sure he likes you.
But you shouldn't act so tough.
You should try to be more girlie, more feminine.
Come on, just try it!
Not like that.
Now why don't you try... this?
Hmm?
I don't know how.
Don't worry.
The Obedience Charm.
- Now you are going to do, exactly what I do! - Now you are going to do, exactly what I do!
- Go! - Go!
Sorry, I just really need to go pee. But, if you won't let me out, I have to do it in here.
Hey, it won't help to...
Back off, you're spraying me!
But I haven't started peeing yet. How could I have sprayed you?
Plug it up with a stopper!
Plug it with a stopper!
You're so cruel.
There's no need to plug it up, I can hold it in.
But I don't have a stopper!
Plug it now, or I'll rip it out!
Is there... any justice in this world?!
Uh, great, yank it out!
Cut the crap!
Sorry. I didn't mean to.
- Get lost! - It stopped! Thank you!
You good for nothing scum bag! Behave yourself or I'll kill you in front of the boss!
- Oh... - You good for nothing scum...
If you dare, make it more erotic!
Where is my sword?!
I'll get it!
I can't take it anymore!
Stop it! Stop hitting him right now!
Stop playing tricks on me!
No wait!
I said, stop playing tricks on me!
The chariot!
Ready!
Get in!
Ironblood system!
What is that?
The "Ironblood System" uses hammering...
to push air from the air sacs through the tubes to...
push the propellers and move the gears in order to generate power.
It refills the air sacs and repeats the procedure...
thus generating inexhaustible kinetic energy.
And moving the chariot.
Hurry! It's catching up!
Full speed ahead!
Fast, huh?
Can you please be a bit more careful?
What should we do?! The Pig Demon's up ahead!
Do I look scared?! Crash into him!
Cuhmeer!
It's time to go.
Wake up.
Wake up!
You're scaring me!
Please wake up. Don't die!
Please wake up!
I tricked you! Did you see how worried you were about me?
And yet you still won't admit that you love me!
Will you? Oh, this is wonderful!
I knew it!
Almost forgot about that Pig!
Tell me Almighty Foot, why must you always compete with me?
We all followed the demon's aura here, Muscleman.
Whoever captures the Pig Demon first, is the best demon-hunter of them all!
Fine, let's forget the Pig Demon. How 'bout a one-on-one fight then?
Huh!
The Pig Demon is tough...
and he is even tougher under a full moon.
Who else, could defeat him, other than royalty?
Huh!
Well look who's bragging for a change!
Good evening, Prince Important!
I've heard about you before. Legend has it that your Sword Play, is the best in the world!
It's time... for my Almighty Foot to take you on young man!
Fine old man.
I'll let you... be number one.
It is lonely... here at the top.
Very lonely.
I don't expect... you commoners to understand?
Keep it low-key.
Stop... throwing the petals.
Didn't you tell us to throw them?
What does the cough mean Boss?
Do we throw the petals or not?
No don't!
- But you still have to pay us! - Yes I know!
Actually, I don't know what she's talking about.
Wow! Where'd you find these four "lovely blossoms"?
Out in the wild. I was lucky to even find these four!
Why don't you just walk on your own two feet?
Well that would make me, the same as you.
I, Prince Important, have my own style.
You're not important, just impotent!
Listen, you can't just make random accusations like that.
Look, look, can't you read this word?
See it says "impotent"... no, wait, no!
It's "important".
I'm Prince impotent, no, no, no, no!
I'm, I'm not Prince Important!
I am impotent!
Listen... I was... look, as a child I was impotent.
No, wait, no no... I have been very important since I was born, huh.
I am just trying to stay impotent here!
Enough!
You all have amazing fighting skills. Why not unite to fight the demon?
If you let him go, he'll get stronger under the full moon, and we'll all be dead!
But you compete for fame and fortune.
You don't deserve to be demon-hunters!
And who is this beggar?
I'm not a beggar.
I'm a demon-hunter too.
Got it.
Give him some food.
We don't share the same beliefs. I must go.
Nicely put! Oh I admire you so much! I support you, I'll go with you!
Go away!
You keep on blocking my path to Buddhahood. Give me back my book right now!
What's wrong? We were doing so well.
Give me the 300 Nursery Rhymes!
300 Nursery Rhymes??
* Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping, Brother John? Brother John? *
Don't embarrass me in front of all these people.
300 Nursery Rhymes!
Fine!
Be carefull!
Well?
Hit me.
Useless fool! Garbage! Idiot!
You go to hell!
You need to take a good honest look at yourself!
Would you be elected if it weren't for me?
You think you're Prince Charming?
Huh, Demon-Hunter!
This fellow here is the true hero of my heart! Huh!
How 'bout we, go for a drink and get to know each other better, handsome?
Listen, despite my good looks, I'm just a humble guy.
It's such a burden to be so handsome. But that is something you ugly people couldn't possibly understand.
Let's forget about the drink, huh. Whaddaya say we, just get a room instead.
Hmm.
Hey, hey.
Don't look at me!
Boss, boss!
Leave me alone!
So Miss, do you have time for a drink?
And you sir, do you have time?
Well... Honestly, I've never dated a man before, this is my first time. So be gentle.
I will try.
'Five Fingers Mountain Starting Point'
'Five Fingers Mountain Ending Point'
"At the foot of Five Fingers Mountain, look for an old temple."
"And there you can find a statue of Buddha, 13,000 feet high and 2,500 feet wide."
"The Monkey King is there."
'Water Reflection Mirror'
Get off of me!
Please, get off of me!
I'm here to find the Monkey King.
I... I...
Monkey King, I'm Monkey King!
You're the Monkey King?!
Yes, Sun Wukong, Monkey King!
Mr. Sun, I'm so honored to meet you.
My name is Chen Xuan Zang.
Mr. Sun! Mr. Sun!
I've been waiting, 500 years!
Mr. Sun, please stop!
I'm sorry.
I'm a bit overwhelmed.
Just sit. Sit, sit!
Mr. Chen, you're so handsome!
You, too, Mr. Sun!
Although compared to the legend, you seem just a little bit different.
Ah so, here's the story.
500 years ago, I was just an ordinary monkey, nothing special.
And then I had a tiny disagreement with Buddha. And you will not believe, at what he did next!
He used the Buddha Sutra to blast me all the way down here!
But I recognized that I was at fault, so I decided to locked myself up in this tiny little hole here.
Dude!
And for 500 years...
I never left this place once. I've done nothing but sit and study every single word of the Buddha Sutra.
I've already dissolved the demon spirit that dwelled within me and expelled it from my body.
I have even lost my demonic look, you see.
So now all that remains within my body is truth, goodness and beauty.
The Buddha Sutra is good, is great, simply amazing young man!
Actually, Mr. Sun, I've come here to discuss another matter of the up most importance with you.
Please go ahead.
I'd like for you, teach me a way to tame the Pig Demon.
KL Hog?
Yes, he's evil and has killed so many people, no one has a clue what to do.
Ah, there's a way.
You look!
Come.
This seal here is the Holy Fire Spell.
I brought it down from heaven.
It has the power to destroy demons and monsters.
But I don't wanna kill him.
I just want to awaken his inner truth, goodness and beauty.
Right, didn't I just say that?
Its, primary function is just that, to awaken truth, goodness and beauty.
Oh no, I couldn't, it's too precious!
Not at all, it's only worth a few bucks!
But still, I couldn't.
Just take it.
I insist, just please, take it!
Mr. Sun...
could this possibly be the same seal that Buddha used to suppress you?
By refusing my gift, you have offended me deeply!
Don't you know who I am?
You know the 13 Gangsters of Flower Fruit Mountain?
I'm number one!
In those days, I had two cleavers, one in each hand...
from South Heaven Gate all the way to Penglai East Road...
chopping back and forth, back and forth.
For three days and three nights, blood flowed like a river just chopping up and down, and down...
without blinking an eye!
But didn't your eyes get dry from...
from not blinking for so long?
Look, does it really matter if my eyes are dry or not?
What's that got to do with anything?
I was just curious.
Are you getting the point of the story, or not?
Did I say anything about my dry eyes, you idiot?!
I was just wondering...
just such a long time... without blinking.
Don't talk to me about my eyes getting dry or not! How stupid are you anyway?!
Mr. Sun, please calm down! I didn't mean it like that!
I- I meant, I killed without so much as a blink. And all you're concern about is my dry eyes!
Fine then, I'll show you, watch this! Are they dry?! Are they dry damnit?!
Are they dry?! Are they dry?!
Can you see?!
I can.
What else have you got for me?
Bring them all out now! Let me smash them. Take them out, right now!
Take them out now!
Damn, that's why I can't speak sensibly with you young people!
You asked me nicely to borrow something. Fine, no problem,
- Mr. Sun? - I'll lend it to you. But when you...
I'm fine now, thank you.
You know what's wrong with young people nowadays, they're so impulsive.
I personally, think it's better to be steadfast?
You want it?
Don't you interrupt me!
Open it yourself!
But I don't wanna eat it. You told me to bring it out for you, to smash!
Let me out of here!
It's been 500 years! How much longer do you want to keep me trapped?!
I've changed, I swear it.
I've done the whole enlightenment thing.
Buddha... why won't you believe me, I'm telling you the truth?!
You ask Buddha why he doesn't believe you, but do you believe in him?
If you did obtain enlightenment, then Buddha would know!
He would never give up on you.
Are you saying I didn't really obtain enlightenment?
Let it go, that's not the point.
If you do goodness with all your heart, you'll reap the rewards.
Help me tame the Pig Demon...
to show you're doing good. This is your chance to fight evil, and give back to society.
You want me to help you kid, impossible!
Do you have any idea how hard the last 500 years have been?
I have not had a single bite of my favorite food, bananas!
If you want to get the Pig Demon, you have to lure him here.
Although, he was hurt by his wife and her handsome lover...
he still loves her with every bone in his evil body.
He always liked to watch her body sway, as she danced in the moonlight.
He even wrote a song for her to show her how much he loved her.
So it's simple, kid.
You just need to get a pretty girl over here to sing and dance
to that song under the full moon. And naturally...
the Pig Demon's going to show up.
And then?
And then, leave the rest to me.
What's wrong?
What do you think about me dressing up as a woman?
Please, stop embarrassing yourself.
Oh, sorry. Excuse me.
No no no no no, wait! This banana is for eating, alright.
Uh-huh.
Why are you still following me?
I'm here because I'm worried about you.
I was up there, when I heard you say that you needed my help. So I came down.
Who said we needed your help?
Didn't you just say, you needed a pretty girl?
Go away! Were having a serious discussion here.
Sorry, Mr. Sun!
Hey, a pretty girl!
You know just what to say.
I've always been this way, I say what I think.
Now you're making me blush!
You look even nicer that way!
Okay, well how 'bout you stop saying what you think?
Oh, he offended you just now, didn't he young lady!
Let me apologize for him with this gift.
Oh no, I can't accept it. That's too much.
Hey.
Give me a chance.
Well we barely know each other.
All good friends, start out as strangers.
Mr. Sun, keep this up, and I'll half to leave!
Don't do that, if you leave, what will I do?
You're naughty! We're not alone here!
Who else is here?
Okay, okay that's enough. Let's go catch the Pig Demon!
Miss...
you just said that you wanted to help us, lure the Pig Demon over here, but, can you dance?
I only know one dance.
Good!
Step. Step.
- Now go down. - Down.
- And up. - Up.
And up.
Well! Yeah!
Now!
And.
Well!
Lift your butt a bit.
Very good. Very good!
Miss, your dancing's really good!
No, not at all! Not as good as yours!
Oh, you're really good!
Oh, you think!
Really!
Oh!
So, may I go up and lure the Pig Demon now?
- You! - Oww!
Hey, this guy looks familiar.
* My love is gone, she'll never return. *
* I silently mourn my lost love. *
* Though flowers wither, they'll bloom again. *
* My long-lost love is beyond the clouds. *
* Unrequited love fills my heart with sorrow. *
* In our lives we can't change our destiny. *
* Once we're parted, we can love no more. *
* Could this be the fate heaven planned for me? *
KL Hog!
Long time no see.
Come.
Thank you so much, Mr. Sun! You've done great service to the people!
Not at all.
In another 49 days, the Pig Demon will be reduced to ashes.
I know you have your own demon-taming beliefs, so...
I'm handing these two over to you now.
Thank you for your help!
Are you tired? You should go home and rest.
Didn't I tell you, when a girl closes her eyes, it means that she wants you to kiss her.
Well Miss Duan, I believe I can help you with that!
Mr. Sun... go.
I'm sorry... I know I treated you badly before.
But honestly, I've changed.
I have decided to become a sweet, gentle, faithful, wife and mother.
Would you accept me now?
What's this?
I've decided we're getting married, silly!
This ring represents my love for you.
Why are you lookin' at me? Where the hell else can I go?!
Ignore him. So whaddaya say?
This Infinite Flying Ring grows roots in your flesh. You can never take it off.
No stop!
I don't love you.
And I do not want to marry you.
If I can't remove the ring, then I'll remove my finger!
I get it now.
I won't bother you anymore.
I spent three days putting your book back together.
But I can't read very well, so I'm afraid I made a mess of it.
Keep it.
She's gone.
What a pity.
Miss Duan has such a lovely body.
How do you know?
I saw it with my own two eyes.
Why didn't I see it?
Must be because you're blind.
Mr. Sun, thanks again for helping me.
Goodbye.
- Leaving so soon, no need to rush off. - Yeah.
Are you okay?
Yes, I'm fine. What could be wrong?
- Really. - Goodbye now.
Hey, Mr. Chen...
so is, the moon full tonight?
Very full.
That's wonderful!
The cave opening is blocked by that lotus flower.
I can't even remember the last time I saw the moon.
I tricked you, blind!
Haha!
You!
Did you really think, that you could buy me off with a banana?!
Actually, the lotus was the real seal and this is the real me!
You've released me! I've finally escaped Buddha's control!
All you did was get out of the cave.
Buddha's here.
He's here?!
So!
Oww!
Put down your hands!
Buddha be praised.
Put them down!
And now, I'll deliver you to Buddha!
Yes?!
The Monkey King, legendary King of Demons.
Why are you so short?
He may be short but... the Monkey King is more demonic than ever!
This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance!
It may be even worth skipping dinner tonight!
Is this a, Peking opera costume or something? It's so cute.
Why are you always frowning, are you unhappy?
- If you're unhappy, I'll play with you! - Hey, hey, hey!
Didn't we agree, that he's all mine?!
Mmm... same rule, whoever wins, goes first!
- Okay! - Okay!
Rock... paper... scissors!
Are you upset?
Hey hey, hey stop throwin' those petals!
Come on now.
Hey, I'm in a hurry! Let me go first!
Pretending to be an animal, in front of me?!
It's just a crazy monkey!
And it deserves to be stepped on!
Wow!
Today, you will die, by my Almighty Foot you monkey!
Oh look, Almighty Foot has stepped on a nail!
My foot has been pierced! My foot!
- My food has been pierced! - I know, I know, I can see that!
Yes my foot!
Oww!
My foot!
Well... can I please get some help?
Help, with what?
With moving that foot!
You should have said so sooner. Why didn't you?
- Yes. - You should have said so sooner.
Why didn't you say so?
You should have said so!
- Oh my foot! - Help, move the foot!
Why didn't you say so?
Just move him!
Ahh.
Wow! That wasn't bad. I really had fun today!
Oh, yeah, me too! Why, of course, all just for fun.
Time for me to go!
It's your turn!
- I'll kill whoever touches him! - No.
Just run!
How dare you do this to him Monkey King!
What do you take me for?
Run, you're no match for him! Please just get out of here, I beg you!
I won't!
What did you do to him?
What did you do to him, huh?!
Don't think I'm a nice girl!
I've caught you again.
And yet you still won't admit... that you love... me.
I...
I have loved you...
since we first met.
And how much?
Very much.
I think about you...
every day.
How... long, will you, love me?
1,000 years...
10,000...
- 10,000? - Yeah.
Too long.
Just... love me... now.
Didn't I tell you, when a girl closes her eyes, it means she wants you to kiss her.
Well...
I just destroyed the woman that you love so much. There's nothing left of her.
How can your Buddha help you now?
You hurt so much you want to die!
What can your Buddha possibly do for you?
Oh, hey!
Wait, wait.
'The Buddha Sutra'
Buddha!
You locked me up for 500 years!
But now I'm out of prison, I am free!
And I will destroy you!
Xuan Zang...
how do you feel about Greater and Lesser Love, between a man and a woman?
That type of love... is only a part of the Greater Love.
You cannot say that love is greater, or that love is lesser.
Having known pain, I can truly understand the suffering of life.
Knowing stubbornness, one can let it go.
Knowing what one wants, one can release it.
Now you understand what that little 'something' is.
Do you now know your mission?
There is suffering.
I cannot rescue the world from hardship, and deliver mankind from misery.
That power lies in the scripture books in India.
Go to the West with the scriptures.
You will face countless challenges and demons on your journey.
These three each possess certain skills. They will accompany you and protect you at all times.
I grant you your holy robe and ritual items.
Today, you my son, are a disciple of Buddha.
Your holy name is Tripitaka.
Go forth!
Please, don't remove my signature.
Subtitle by Dandysubs at subscene.com and cryinoutloud at opensubtitles.org